Recently

 What I’ve been Obsessed About Recently:
My evening schedule tends to be extremely erratic, but there’s nothing I love more than spending my free, precious weeknight hours on books and movies. (And bouldering and confiding my deepest secrets in my journal, of course.) I’m so thankful to be able to escape the real world and get lost in the stories. 
 
A few of my recent obsessions:

I’m glad my mom died:
Wow, I loved this book! It was really special. I listened to the Audio Book version narrated by the author for 7 hours straight last Sunday. It was the perfect book to listen to wandering around aimlessly in the rain. I didn’t expect to like it so much, but Jeannette McCurdy truly spills all of the tea here. I never watched ICarly since I didn’t have cable growing up, but I definitely am familiar with the show and characters through fandoms back in my Tumblr phase. Nevertheless, it was so real hearing about her story growing up, and listening to it felt like having a friend confide in you. She shared so many details that I would have been so uncomfortable sharing publicly. Even though I’m the furthest thing from a star child actor, I could relate to parts of her struggles. The eating disorder and toxic relationship parts were too real. I really felt it when she would keep score on how many calories she had or was strong enough to resist eating until nighttime, when it would all unravel. I feel like eating disorders can feel deceptively empowering because it gives you something that you can have control over, when the rest of your life is going down in flames. When you have no power or voice in any other aspect of your life, at least you have power over your mind and body. It was also really heartbreaking to see her relationship with her mom and how detrimental it was for her health, but how could you ever blame your own parent? Of course you would defend your own mom and justify her decisions, even if she did abuse you. And the sad part is you don’t even know it is abuse until you experience another environment or someone tells you, because it all seems so normal to you.

Cabin at the End of the World: 1/5 stars. This book was a classic cabin invasion story with apocalyptic elements. It possessed an interesting idea; however, it felt extremely contrived. Additionally, the length of the book isn’t justified given the plot and lack of character development - I had to force myself to keep going at parts. I thought the real horror (much moreso than the bizarre violent scenes that involved the insane, masked intruders murdering one of their own) was how “everyday people” could lose their autonomy and sense of social responsibility due to a set of beliefs. The POV shift at the end added to the anxiety and quickened the pace. The book left the ending open ended, leaving the reader to question what happened and to formulate their own ending. 
 
No Hard Feelings: A super enjoyable, predictable, feel-good movie all around, starring Jennifer Lawrence!
 
Mission Impossible DR: Epic! Loved escaping to another world, especially since my dream is becoming a super spy. The action scenes were simply stunning, and it was entertaining the entire 3 hours. Tom Cruise is at least a v10+ climber, judging from his skills from the train scene. Gorgeous actors/actresses.
 
JoyRide: I love this type of movie – hilarious and heartfelt. I loved seeing these characters with wildly different personalities become friends over the course of a raunchy trip to China. I’m also addicted to listening to WAP again – such a gorgeous and hype song, no shame. Deadeye was my favorite character – she is unabashedly herself despite not being traditionally “cool” and seems like a genuine person I wish I was friends with. The movie was hilarious and somehow managed to explore family, identity, and friendship.

Works Well with Others: I thought that Works Well with Others by Ross McCammon did a great job of compiling rules into easily digestible and relatable lessons, from how to write an email to how to give a speech when you're terrified of giving speeches. I enjoyed the overarching memoir of his career and could relate to how he was forced to adapt to an entirely different milieu than what he was used to - Ross transitioned from working at a small suburban Dallas magazine to navigating his dream job at Esquire in New York. My favorite part of the book was how he reminded us to think of important executives as people first. He reminds us that "important" people are just like us and that we are equals to them - they stumble over their words sometimes and get spinach stuck in their teeth - and that conversations with anyone are simply about the human being, stripped of status.

Dopamine Nation: There were a number of concepts that resonated heavily with me in this book. Although many are things that we know or have likely heard of before, it was a good reminder for me to read about and to actually strive to do. 

First, I would like to practice exposure therapy to overcome uncomfortable emotions, like how a patient in the book forced himself to make small talk with his coworkers, because talking to strangers was his biggest fear. Exposing yourself to the very thing you are terrified of is a way to grow, as uncomfortable as it may be. 

Next, I would like to practice radical honesty. Telling the truth draws people in, especially when we’re willing to expose our own vulnerabilities. This is counterintuitive because sometimes we think people may want to distance themselves when they learn about our character flaws and transgressions. Also, there is a line between honest self disclosure and a manipulative story shared to entertain and show off rather than teach and learn. The stories that we narrate about our lives can also shape our behavior. We must fight the victim narrative and take responsibility for our part in bad outcomes. We must be accountable in order to move forward in our lives.

A particularly interesting section was how psychotropic drugs may cause us to lose a part of our humanity. For instance, some patients noticed that while their psychiatric medications offered short-term relief from painful emotions, they also limited their ability to experience the full range of emotions, especially powerful ones like awe and grief. I think the lows are worth it; they are an essential part of the human condition. (But this is coming someone who took Tylenol to try to cope with extreme emotional pain recently.)
 
Stay True is a memoir that explores what it means to be a friend. To be a friend means to be willing to know someone. This was my friend Gillian’s recommendation.
 
That’s it so far. As much as I love discovering new books and shows, I also love watching my favorite shows and movies over and over and over and over again (Legend of the Seeker, Criminal Minds, Arthur, Spirit, Rush Hour…), just as much. Familiar content is wonderfully easy to absorb. Consuming familiar content gives my brain a rest and acts like a time machine, allowing me to escape the present for a short while and to fall back into a simpler time. When I read or watch something new, I try to wait until I’m in a refreshed state or had enough sleep so that I can focus intensely on it. This is relevant for music as well. I tend to listen to tried-and-true playlists when I am working versus listening to something new, which demands heightened attention.

Stuff from this list I would re-watch or read in the near future: Joy Ride, I’m Glad my Mom Died, and Mission Impossible. 
 
Fav Books of the moment:
Brave New World
The Call of the Wild
Fahrenheit 451
The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime

 

Past Lives Recap

Celine Song’s Past Lives is a sentimental, introspective film that entwines beautiful concepts about connection, time, and sense of longing for what could have been. The movie begins with scenes of Na Young and Hae Sung as elementary school sweethearts in Seoul, having play dates outside and walking on hilly roads home together. After twelve years pass, we see that Na Young and Hae Sung have gone their separate ways, working on distinct careers, having their own friends, and going about their day-to-day. Na Young has immigrated to America and lives in a crammed apartment in New York City to chase her dream of becoming an acclaimed writer, while Hae Sung has stayed in meditative, peaceful Korea pursuing engineering studies after military service. The two find each other on Facebook and reconnect via video chats. The connection is intense and palpable as they rekindle the spark they had in their childhood. Nevertheless, they eventually decide to stop talking, recognizing different life ambitions.

 

The Triple Threat Opening Scene at the Times Square AMC

Fast forward another twelve years. Hae Sung travels across the world to visit New York City on vacation (or so he says… he is truly there to see Na Young, who is now married to Arthur, a Jewish man that she met at a writing camp in Montauk.) The special connection between them is clear despite all of the time that has passed. The world seems to dreamily melt around them when they are in each other’s company. Na Young sees Hae Song as someone from her past life in Korea, which makes her wonder about what life would look like if she stayed. To explore fully into her own Korean background is to also explore the possibilities of another life, the life of growing up in or moving back to Korea and even being with Hae Sung. This is painful to dive into, since life can only be lived forward: what’s done is done, and the relentless motion of time is inevitable. At the end of the day, the two confront their past and the present and consider what could have been. In a heartfelt discussion, they examine the concept of inyeon – a Korean word regarding the encounters we share with others over countless lifetimes.

 

They hug each other goodbye. After Hae Sung steps in the taxi to the airport, Na Young finally breaks down and cries. It’s an intense emotional release and a universal experience. It reminds me of seeing an ex for the first time long after ending things. You hug them, and all of the memories come rushing back and the longing that comes with seeing them or hoping to fix things encompassed in the ache. I like how the movie doesn’t romanticize soulmates or fate. Instead, pervasive throughout is a stubborn heartache for something familiar but far away. This is a challenging emotion to contend with. It’s like a subtle headache on a gloomy day. It does not take over your life, but it is noticeable. You might want to chase the longing, but you need to move on with your life. Even though it can never be, you cling on to it. In this way, it can be even more addictive than another part of the relationship because it is a fantasy of what it could have been, rather than the actuality. While the movie is full of poetic dialogue and accompanied by a reflective, graceful soundtrack, it leaves silences and space for us to reminisce about our own experiences on who we are becoming, our own fateful choices, and what could have been. In this way, the movie tackles the life questions of, “what if?” “How do I move forward while also honoring my past?” and explores feelings and experiences that transcend their specific story.

2023 Goals

2023 Goals

1. Build Self Confidence & Self Love

• Reflect and take responsibility for my actions

• Be Bold - take the risk

• Be Genuine

• Focus on what you CAN control → attitude towards life

• NEVER complain - be tough - evolve myself to get what you want

  
  

  Making peace with my emotions

  Emotions provide us with valuable information - they can let us know what’s important to us and also guides us to an aspect that needs to be healed

  • Never feed insecurity.  If I choose to do something, and the core reason is because I’m feeling insecure, I will just feel it and let it pass

2. Read 20 books this year! 

Reading plays a vital role in the way I see myself and the way I view the world. It makes me more empathetic, as it puts me in situations I wouldn’t normally find myself in. By exploring various viewpoints in literature, I can better understand people in real life - their motives, what influences them, why they act like they do. It causes me to question myself and evaluate my decisions. It makes me reflect on my core beliefs and helps me figure out why I live in the first place.

3. Sleep at least 7 hours a night & wake up early 

I’ve discovered that the less sleep I get, the less able I am to concentrate in my activities and the less willing I am to talk to other people. Lack of sleep has literally run me to the ground and destroyed my mental health. Getting sufficient sleep is the first step to sanity and a positive, focused mentality. Morning routine - exercise, study bonds/finance and Chinese, clean.

4. NO Coffee (Bad for Heart) / NO processed foods & sugar / Focus on Nutrition 

--> Food as Fuel

• Cook more 

• Handwrite a cookbook with my own spin on recipes :) 

• Fried Rice, Chinese Broccoli, eggs & tomato, risotto, chili, wonton soup

Quarantine

Yes, being stuck at home and not being able to see my friends really sucks... For UChicago students, this period of time (four weeks of no classes, jobs, and extracurriculars) is extremely tedious. But I realized, after multiple cycles of moping, fighting with my parents, gaining pounds and losing pounds, fighting with my parents, reading my horoscope, and pacing back and forth, quarantine is a blessing in disguise! Apart from slowing the spread of the virus, it slows life down and grants us the gift of time.

through this self-quarantine, I have:

- read Stacy London's The Truth About Style, Perfume, the Alchemy of Scent, Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life
- walked 10,000+ steps a day
- ran a mile in rainboots in the rain
- improved flexibility- back bridges and splits
- binged The Good Place, Grey's Anatomy, Parks and Rec, and New Girl
- watched Yes Man, The Ring, Goodfellas
- ordered a bright blue penny board with pink wheels to zoom down the street
- Jazzercise!
- lost at every game I play of Dominion Online
- listened to Toro y Moi, American Ragtime, and funky new playlists
- admired the good old 1997 monte carlo or Acura Legend
- dabbled in parkour on the outdoor nature playground
- assembled a lookbook of new fashion
- listened to the Quran 
- embodied sylvia plaths poetry

I keep feeling like I'm drinking espresso on an empty stomach: brief clarity leading to perhaps transcendental creativity, but at the same time the bitter come down that reminds you the jitterness is of your own doing. Tough times man. Cya on the other side.

Post Tagg

My Tips for Studying Abroad (& specifically in Morocco!)

1) DO SOMETHING NEW EVERY WEEK!

Take advantage of every day that you are there. You do not have to fill each days with museums or excursions, but don’t waste your time in Morocco. This could be as simple as taking a new route to class every day or trying a different cuisine for lunch. As a personal example, for the first few days after classes, I would head to the Starbucks across the street to get work done. While the Starbucks had incredibly fast and reliable wifi, I decided to local cafes or study spaces instead. For instance, my friend and I would head to a new cafe to study and try a new dessert or food every afternoon. Often after finishing our readings, we would explore the neighborhood that we were in. 

some ideas: 
- explore the city alone! 
- see different neighborhoods 
- practice haggling in the souks 
- visit museums and learn about niche topics 
- listen to local music or dance performances 
- talk to locals 

2) KEEP A JOURNAL

Everything may seem so vibrant to you while you are there, but it can be difficult to remember all the little memories years (or even days, if you are a pro at memory erasure) later that brought you joy or frustration or anything in between. I kept a travel journal in which I made a 7-minute drawing or watercolor painting of a key moment from the day. Journaling is a great way to digest the experiences and situations unfolding around you. 

3) LEARN THE LANGUAGE!

Don’t avoid speaking to people just because you don’t speak Arabic well! Learning the language is something that complemented my study abroad experience extensively. l Honestly, I had no idea that Arabic was read from right to left before classes with Ustad Abdullah (bless him). I’m quite amazed that I’ve learned the entire alphabet, from being able to sound out words to being able to read and write sentences. It was like being in kindergarten again, and it was the most joyful kind of learning! Speaking schwia (a little) Arabic takes you so far in Morocco. When street vendors or random people that I run into find out that I’m learning Arabic, they break out into the hugest smiles and it’s so easy to make friends and to learn about their lives! 

Here are some relevant phrases: 
> Salaam Alykum: the pure classic, it means peace be upon you! 
> Labas?: how are you? 
> Shwia: A little 
> Inshallah: God willing 
> Waaw!: wow  
> Mgdega dega mra mra, Darija: I get tired from time to time 
> Al Hamdullilah: praise be to God 
> Shukran! - Thank you 
> Iyyeh or Naam: Yes 
> ndank ndank: slowly or watch out (alright, you got me, this is actually in Wolof, a language spoken in Senegal. My roommate who studied in Dakar while I was in Morocco taught me this. And I had to throw this in here because it’s also a CLASSIC.) 

4) STAY HEALTHY!
Believe me, it’s no fun being ill while you’re abroad, or in general. It’s important to know your limits and not become overwhelmed with it all. This means getting enough sleep, exercise, and healthy food each day. 

5) TRAVEL AROUND MOROCCO
Each city in Morocco has its own unique atmosphere- Essouira, Fez, Marrakesh, Casablanca, Tangier, etc.

Week 1 of Morocco Diary Entries

Snippets of the day, first week in Morocco

January 4 
Last night a group of us had dinner at a delicious tagine place, dar naji. the guy who poured the mint tea held the pot super high above his head! Afterwards, we walked to the ocean and witnessed a stunning sunset.

We checked out of the hotel we stayed at the first few nights, packed luggage, and had a survival darija language class in which we learned how to hail a taxi. Then, we went on a scavenger hunt all afternoon with three language partners. We walked to the tram, by the museum and parliaments, through the souks, all the way to the ocean, went to the Kasbah of the oudayyas garden which was absolutely beautiful and teeming with cats (msh zweena), walked back to the souks to go to a traditional restaurant where we tried vegetables and chicken tagines with fries, and finally back to orientation. We met our host mother today! I was so excited but also nervous because not sure what to expect. I knew everything was going to be fine from the moment she kissed me on the cheek. We lugged all our suitcases to the taxi and went to L'ocean, where her home was. Our host mother served us mint tea, a keeka (cake), and cookies that they typically eat during Ramadan and we talked until bedtime. 

January 5 -
they call normal black coffee "americanos" in rabat! even at the paris airport, they called out “americano” when they gave out my drink and i thought they gave me the wrong drink.
went to the markets again, looked at all the beautiful paintings, went to the contemporary art museum in rabat - there was this really lovely piece on the seven deadly sins but sadly we weren’t allowed to take pictures - and had some mint tea at the museum cafe- you gotta pour it up high to aerate it. then we went to carrefour to buy shampoo and used my taxi skills from class to get back home, where we ate dinner of salad and chicken. Shreya flooded the bathroom bc the bathroom shower is kind of jank. finally, i started my drawings. 

January 7 -
woke up a bit late today. shreya and I gulped down our breakfast, which was a delicious omelette with cheese and spinach, crepes and a banana mix, and kawhla with milk. Also had some dates! Then, we hailed a cab from the white church. I used my taxi skills from survival darija to help get us to mcdonald’s agdal. Then, I bought a water bottle at the yellow cafe next door and went to civ. We learned a bit about islam today and to remember to contextualize historical sources. We took an hour break before our MSA class. We went to Zumba, a hip juice place where I got a jus oasis. Afterwards, we went to MSA and gave my first presentation! So scared of pronounciation haha but just GOTTA DO IT. Afterwards, I met up with my language partner, who studies math, at the cafe next door with some mint tea. I walked a bit down the street, went to the bank to negotiate my 20 dollar bill back, and took a cab home. I changed and went on a run by the ocean. I stopped by the lighthouse. This dude looking out to the ocean beckoned me and offered to take me up. I thought o shoot hes going to sell me into slavery but yolo. I followed him up the winding staircase to the very top of the lighthouse. it really was beautiful view. waves on one side, the city on the other, an entire graveyard that was enchanting in an odd kinda way. I then walked around in the kasbah of the oudayas for a bit and took photos of the cats. I went into the medina too and ran into Kate and Emma. so funny because we watched a movie at the cinema with Yzza called the LIGHTHOUSE later. very strange, very intense, i loved it though! would recommend. I walked back. it was only 20 min walk and I got to learn and see the area a bit better on foot. There were some outdoor fruit markets right outside our house. Then, I watched tv a bit over a delicious beef balls tagine dinner with bread and this amazing soup. knocked right out after, got up early to memorize BAA!

January 8 -
had an omelette, sweet porridge this morning and a sweet lemon cake that our host mother baked for us. It was delicious! then, shreya and I took a cab to amideast in agdal. Mcdonald’s agdal! Usually, we say a landmark in order to get somewhere in a cab. We learned about the emergence of islam and muhammad today in class. Then, I had the most delicious falafel sandwich at Babel with some people from the program. After, we learned some more arabic script like alif and waw. Then, Ruthie helped me replace my sim card. We went to starbucks and studied for a while. They have very high speed internet. I took a cab home alone and went running. I finished my workout at home and did abs. Then, we have POISSON! the most amazing fish tagine. there was also a lovely salad with tomatoes and bread. I ate a lemon to top it off. I am truly blessed by this lovely host mother. She also makes our bed when we are gone. i feel so spoiled honestly and kind of guilty haha. Then, I finished my readings for the day and worked on arabic and hopefully go to bed soon LMAO.

January 9 -
had an omelette and these lovely pancakes this morning. she also got us chocolate croissants so wase took ours to go because we are always in a rush in the mornings. we learned about the quran in class today. who would’ve known its so interesting! I also told maroune that HAHA looks like leaves. hopefully that’s no offensive LMAO. Kate, Allison, and Jessica and I went to Zumba. I got a papaya juice and a chicken shwarma wrap for only 2.5 us dollars. SO DELICIOUS. Food quality is A1 here honestly. Then, we had our arabic classes with Abdulla, who is such an interactive and great teacher. I’m still soooo shy it’s hard for me to say things but I feel like that is so irrational. Afterwards, I went and filled out my travel forms and worked at starbucks with emma for a little while. Now I’m going to go to the bank to get my 20 US dollars back and also run with Leela by the ocean.

January 10 -
mainly a day of travel. Tram and taxi to Sale airport. then a loooong bus ride through sharp winding roads in literally the mountains thought i we were going to go over the cliff. we stopped to eat sausage and olive pizza at a well-decorated christmas themed place by the side of the road. yummy. house is a hella MANSION- spacious and beautiful. Jacob and Noah jumped into the hella freezing pool.

January 11 -
got up early, tried to see the sunrise but missed it. a german shepherd lives outside our mansion. Ruthie and I are sharing a room. We take the van to Essaoria and go to Tara cafe. It’s a standard Moroccan breakfast with pancakes and jams and mint tea. Then, we walked around the old medina. A woman tried to sell us argan oil. Then, I tried haggling with this man for a snake box. Jacob helped me bring it from 50 to 10 dirhams. We went up and it was so windy by the sea. We went to a history museum that featured traditional outfits, musical instruments, and more parts of culture. After, we got lunch at a pretty rooftop terrace place. Had really delicious tuna and sardine / fish tartine which i mixed and matched with Lara. We walked out to the port and saw the iconic blue boats. Then we walked by the beach and tried found a cafe where the others ate crepes. I drank a huge bottle of water. We chilled by the beach waiting for the sunset. I talked to Lara for a while while Shreya, Jacob, Ruthie, and Gabby practiced tik tok videos. The sunset was so beautiful! palm trees everywhere. some man on a bike came up to me and asked me if I could breakdance because i was doing cartwheels. I did the 5 step then he one-upped me and did a huge incredible dance. AMAZING! we got dinner at sirocco. I had a fish “bowl”. olives were so good, so was the olive cream and bread. There was live music and a dude with a chill voice playing guitar and singing summertime and the living’s easy. hella vibes. We taxi’d to carrefour for breakfast. I lost my postcards about at this time, but thats ok because we rode the neon bumper cars! so much fun. Lara and I didn’t quick figure out how to be functional until after the ride. so much fun.

10 Words I Like

 1)  MUTALAZITE

“To separate, to withdraw one from” 

Mutalazites are followers of the rational school of Islamic theology, best known for rejecting the doctrine of the Koran as uncreated and co-eternal with God. They also focus on the concepts of divine justice and unity. They strongly stressed reason as the fundamental determinant of how the Koran should be interpreted.

While the Mutalazites make convincing points in theological discussion, they reduce God to a philosophical abstract. Though I am a Christian, I have occasionally doubted God’s existence when I think about suffering. However, I believe that God as a philosophical abstract is something that is wholly separate from the lived experience and that reason has its limits. This also reminds me that true knowledge can only be known by God and that our senses are so limited that we do not even know what we do not know. Indeed, the Mutalazites worked to solve the theological problem of evil. By theistic definition, God is assigned transcendent properties such as omniscience, benevolence, and omnipotence. I sympathize with the Mutalazites that we have a capacity for reason for insight. However, we have also continuously exhibited an inability to grasp and reason through the universe. Given that there are simply things, including certain objects in the Koran, that are beyond our ability to reason as humans, and that God has been assigned transcendent properties, then couldn’t God’s reasons for permitting evil be beyond our rational capacity to understand and articulate?

2)  JIHAD

“Struggle or effort”

Jihad means struggle in the path of God. In the most general sense, it means the personal struggle against one’s own shortcomings that is required for Muslims to perfect their submission. More specifically, it is battle against the enemies of Islam, regulated by the Shariah.

Jihad is significant to me and to this course because it can illustrate how people can be hurt by religion in a way that is separate from true faith and belief. For instance, in the Orlando shootings in 2016, people were attacked and killed for being gay, for violating Sharia law. These acts of violence were supposedly done in the name of God based on an ideological basis, which is not unique to Islam. People have used Christianity and countless other bases as well to justify hatred. This incident makes me not only wonder why and how violent groups or individuals arise from religions of peace and unity but also shows how the actions of the few can lead to damaging conceptions and views of religion in society, spurred on by the media. The greatest power is the power to define. These are examples of the instances that lead to intense media coverage and crisis which then define our encounter and view of Islam.

3)  QADA 

"Carrying out or fulfilling" 

The measuring out. The Koran often states that God measures out good and mercy to test people’s faith and to allow people to prove their own nature. People who have faith in the measuring out, both the good and the evil of it, will recognize that God knows what he is doing, even if it is against their personal desires.

Qada makes me wonder about what good and evil actually means. For instance, something that could be considered evil is pain. However, pain can be seen not only as a positive feeling but a good in itself. Experiencing pain signals to us that something is wrong with our body or with the environment. In this way, it can be thought of as a good rather than an evil. This brings me back to a question about God’s nature. Why does a good God allow suffering that brings no good? And if the pain does bring a kind of good, is that good really worth the pain? I am also uneasy about the argument that first-order evils are justified by the goods that they enable. The point of a second-order good is to end some first-order evil. For example, a given act of charity aims to improve the distress of poverty. It is intrinsic to the second-order goods like charity to eliminate the evils like poverty, and thus, they aim to eliminate the conditions of their own existence. Perhaps promoting charity and creating poverty are explained by the measuring out of good and evil. Furthermore, on similar lines, if we grant that suffering an evil is engulfed by an overwhelming good of gaining further insight into the life of God, can we continue to view this terrible evil as “evil”? But again, humans often distort the way things are and often fail to acknowledge their proper places and make the correct reaction. This is important to me because it reminds me of what I do not know and that all the good and bad that occurs is a test of faith. 

4)  DOCTRINE OF KASB

"Action"

The Doctrine of Acquisition. A doctrine in Islam adopted by al-Ashari as a mean between predestination and free will. According to this doctrine, all actions, good and evil, are originated by God, but they are “acquired” (maksub, kasb) by humans.

I like this concept because it raises the questions: how does Islam square the issue of free will and predestination? How does this help elucidate the nature of the relationship of humans with God? The doctrine of kasb suggests moral responsibility on the part of the agent. This is a fascinating way of reconciling predestination and free will. Though it is a great responsibility, I like that we have some degree of freedom and can be held accountable for our actions. 

5) SHIRK

“Share, associate.” 

Shirk means associating others with God, the only unforgivable sin. It also implies following one’s own desires or anything less than the guidance of God. It consists of thinking or acting as if anything other than God shares in the attributes of God. The opposite of shirk is the tawhid; to associate others with God is to overturn what makes us human or our fundamental instincts.

This word is relevant because it is something I (and most people) struggle with all the time. An idol is something that one deems as having value and has attachment to. This can be anything from social status to a job. One challenge for me is identifying the idols in my life. Though I do not believe in multiple gods, I have numerous ways of practicing shirk, but it is arduous to genuinely think about and truly acknowledge them. A lot of the times, I go through the day without praying and set acting with God in mind aside with the mentality of “I’ll do it later!” or “I need to go to sleep or go run first.” Every day is a constant fight to follow God. This is a reminder to readjust my priorities.

6)  FITRA

“Disposition, nature, instinct”

Fitra is the original human nature as created by God. Its fundamental attribute is the innate understanding of the tawhid; only God deserves worship. Fitra can be obscured by upbringing or circumstances.

The fitra is an instinctive knowledge inside every human. Fitra is an extremely relevant word that is connected to multiple concepts in Islam. For example, fitra leads the human to the conclusion that there is one God and that we should worship Him alone. In this way, we possess an innate understanding of the tawhid. Iman and Ihsan are also concepts that are encapsulated in the fitra. For instance, Iman is the natural reaction of humans to the marvels of their own existence. Iman means faith, to believe in a truth that is true. This faith demands Islam, or submission to God’s instructions, and is a form of gratitude. Going off of this, Kufr is inversely related to fitr in the sense that the opposite of faith is infidelity, or ungratefulness towards God to whom people owe their existence.

I also enjoy the idea that people are striving to head back to the essence, to return to their pure state. As time progresses from childhood, in which we were closer to the world of tawhid, we often stray from the original fitra. This is because we live in a society that cuts us off from our fundamental instincts; we are tempted by materialism and desires. This is related to the ruh being obscured and how humans begin to identify with appetites like fear and anger. To me, fitra not only demonstrates the importance of one’s environment but also inspires me to fight forgetfulness of God and to strive to grow in faith.

7)  DHIKR

“Mention, to remind, to remember”

Dhikr makes possible the actualization of the fitra. In fact, the primary function of the prophets and the scriptures is reminding people of God. The natural human response is dhikr, to remember God and one’s responsibilities towards him. It entails the repetition of certain names of God or certain formulae containing God’s name, such as the first Shahada.

I find the Dhikr to be extremely relevant to Islamic society. I see small instances of Dhikr in Morocco all the time, built into the language and the day-to-day life. For instance, the language is heavily filled with Islamic phrases, such as Inshallah (God willing), Salam Alykum (Peace be upon you), and Al-Hamdullilah (Praise be to God). Moreover, the call to prayer occurs five times a day. It summons the faithful to the salat, the ritual prayer. The salat demonstrates the daily renewal of the Koran, of God, and one’s responsibilities towards him. Dhikr illustrates the power of Islam as a cultural tool of unification and providing social solidarity in society.

I additionally believe that Dhikr can come in different forms, other than repetition of names of God or through prayer. I do not pray all the time or even 5 times a day. An analogy is that this is like friendship- I do not need to talk to my friend every day in order to maintain and have a good relationship with her. I think that one can demonstrate faith through actions. For example, performing actions that one loves, such as running, journaling, painting, or playing music, are spiritual acts and also reminds and brings one closer to God.

8)  ZAKAT

« Alms tax »

Zakat’s root meaning is “purity” – people purify their wealth by giving a share to God. As one of the five pillars of Islam, the Zakat requires a certain percentage of one’s acquired property or profit for the year to be paid to the needy.

First, Zakat demonstrates social relevance: it encourages helping others and depends on social interaction. It is a concrete redistribution of wealth and warns against self-importance. As we are all God’s creatures, we should treat others well. I love that this has a strong egalitarian message and is a way of bringing home the idea that all humans are fundamentally equal and that whatever differences of fortune we may enjoy are only contingent. I discover examples of this when speaking with my language partner at AmidEast. She tells me that being a true Muslim means to always share what you have with your neighbors or with others. This is what society these days needs more of.

Secondly, Zakat illustrates how Islam performs a critical role in the social system. Zakat’s primary task is the set up a right relationship with God, beginning with the individual. A healthy society can only exist if its members are healthy. It is able to reaffirm the beliefs and morals held collectively by all of the individuals in a society, providing guidelines and purpose. Zakat also indicates the flexibility of Islam. Fulfilling the duties of the Zakat is circumstantial and depends on the individual’s situation. This echoes how people need to perform the Hajj once in a lifetime but only if they have the means to do so.

9) OCCASIONALISM

Occasionalism is a theory about causation which says that created substances cannot be efficient causes of events. Instead, God is behind every causal connection and there is divine intervention at every moment in time.

Occasionalism is a fascinating concept to me, though I have typically defended causality. It implies that all events in nature are discontinuous and that the world is a domain of separate entities that are independent of each other, with no connection except the divine will. Occasionalism reminds me of Descartes’s view of time and duration. Descartes believed that concrete duration is successive by nature, with parts arranged in a fixed order regardless of motion, and that God is necessary for each moment for duration. He fills God in as the gap between abstract and actual reality. I am inspired to think about these arguments more.

Moreover, I am interested in the context that this concept arose from. The Asharites arose as a reaction against the rationalists and the scripturalists. (I can’t help but think about Aristotle’s Golden Mean in action, whether it is oscillating between asceticism and hedonism or the rationalists and scripturalists.) Occasionalism seemed to have emerged when the Asharites began to reinterpret and develop Aristotelianism, and it occurred in the context of the Asharites’ attempt to reconcile tashbih and tanzih. 

10) SUFI

Sufis are followers of a branch of Islam that believes in a more mystical connection with Allah. Sufis aim to practice all 3 dimensions of Islam and truly emulate the Prophet Muhammad. They are on a journey to embody divine existence and focus upon developing interior qualities and on spirituality. They also tend to emphasize the Tashbih.

I like the word Sufi because of its emphasis on Ihsan, to worship God as though one sees Him, and the purity of intention of any religious act. Al-Basri even denigrated a religious act to be worthless if it is performed out of habit or even a sense of duty alone. Even in non-spiritual acts, this is good motivation to be present and intentional in what I am doing; I never want to be going through the motions. This highlights an interesting point about the Sharia and legal interpretation of Islam. The Sharia deals with intentions nearly exclusively based on acts. This permits room for religious façade in society. In fact, many Sufis regarded the ulama’s concern for particular behavior to be legalistic and bereft of true spirituality.

Some Sufis practice asceticism as a way to bridge the gulf between the divine and the mortal. Several Sufis sought a highly disciplined life of the spirit, shunning the trappings of wealth, which stood in stark contrast to the Umayyads. Looking back at some of my notes from high school and sophomore year of college, one of my goals on and off was to “live an ascetic lifestyle.” Some small instances of asceticism in the modern college life were drinking only water, fasting for 48 hours once a week, not watching TV, only taking cold showers, etc. This usually happened after periods of hedonistic experience and indulgence where I felt sick of that lifestyle. I can see how it can reduce one’s appetites like pride, greed, and gluttony which are obstacles to the spiritual path. It helps nurture mindfulness and encourage empathy of the hardships of others. Ultimately, I love how Sufism emphasizes transcendence and the experience of spiritual reality for which the texts were the representation.

Why Morocco?

Though it may not be in the top ten destinations to study abroad, I was drawn to the Middle Eastern Civilization program in Morocco for several reasons:

1)   Architecture – Morocco’s architecture is distinctive, a unique blend of Berber, Islamic, Moorish, and French design styles. Many buildings feature great archways and beautiful domes. It is also common to see lavish gardens, courtyards, and use of geometric patterns and contrasting color. One of the main draws for me has been to see the vibrant architecture that reflects Morocco's history.

2)   Learning about the Middle Eastern world – Given the altered relationship between the United States and the Arab world, it is crucial for students to pursue education opportunities in the Middle East and North Africa region. Almost every day I receive news about this region, whether it is the U.S. launching strikes against militant groups in Iraq and Syria, travel bans, shifting European sentiment toward Arabs, and more. I hope to heighten my sense and understanding of the interplay between history and contemporary international affairs in the region. 

3)   Improve language skills – I have been working on my French skills in my free time during fall quarter and hope to practice and further develop it in Morocco! I will also be taking Modern Standard Arabic and have been memorizing some words of Darija, the local dialect, during my free time as well. 

4)   Cuisine – One way to get to know a culture is through its food, and man do I want to know Moroccan culture well. Morocco's food makes it on the list of some of the world's best cuisines, and I am pretty hype to try the couscous, tagine (a slow-cooked stew that's named after the traditional clay dish it's cooked in), harira (tomato-based soup), and more! 

5)   Religion - As a Christian, I am fascinated with how three distinct yet related religions, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, were forged in the context of the Middle East and how they continue to find expression and affect the daily lives of people in the region. I hope to learn more about my religion in the context and lens of Islam. 

6)   Homestay – Most students from UChicago who study abroad stay in dorms or apartments. However, as cultural immersion is one of my top goals, the homestay component of the Middle East Civilizations program has been a motivating force in my decision. 

7)   Diversity – Whether geographically or activity-wise, no other region in the world boasts such a remarkable variety of recreations and attractions. From haggling in local markets to riding camels in the Sahara desert to surfing in Essosauria, there is no shortage of amazing adventures. 

8)   Last but not least, Escape Chicago winter! J